Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, 'Surely I can't look that old?' Well, you'll love this one.
While sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class almost 30 years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St. Peter's High School.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Spartan," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1979. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-gun asked, "What did you teach?"
2012 SURVIVAL KIT
Toothpick - to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone, including yourself.
Rubber band - to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but they can be worked out.
Band-Aid - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.
Eraser - to remind you everyone makes mistakes, but that's okay because we learn by our errors.
Candy Kiss - to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment every day.
Mint - to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family.
Bubble Gum - to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.
Pencil - to remind you to list your blessings every day.
Green Tea Bag - to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over that list of God's blessings.
Health Tip 101
Special thanks to the Carvey's -
Doug & Lynne (Outhwaite)
who sent in
The Class Reunion
THE CLASS REUNION
Every ten years, as summertime nears,
The men all conversed about who had been first
The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
The boy we'd decreed 'most apt to succeed'
It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
Our sixtieth is coming, I'm told.
Bob hadn't been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked
into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over
in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in
greeting, saying, "You look like Helen Brown."
"Well," the woman snapped back, "you don't look so great in
Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.."
I checked in each mirror and begged my poor spouse
To say I looked great, that my chin wasn’t double,
And he lied though his false teeth, just to stay out of trouble.
Said that ‘neath my thick glasses, my eyes hadn’t changed,
And I had the same figure, I was just a mite rearranged.
He said my skin was still silky, although looser in drape,
Not so much like smooth satin, but more like a silk crepe.
I swallowed his words hook, sinker and line
And entered the banquet feeling just fine.
Some how I’d expected my classmates to stay
As young as they were on that long-ago day
We’d hugged farewell hugs, but like me, through the years,
They’d added gray hair, or pounds to their rears.
But as we shared a few memories and retold some class
jokes, we were eighteen in spirit, though we looked like our
folks. We turned up hearing aid volumes and dimmed down
the light, rolled back the years, and were young for the
Surely, I can't look that old!
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, 'Surely, I can't look that old!' Well.... You'll love this one.
While sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist, I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park high school.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he beamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit SOB asked, "What did you teach?"
Shared by Judi Larsen Szyszka WHS 1959
Gifts for the Kindergarten Teacher
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held he package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!" SURPRISE!
Reunion Road Trip
While on the road to our reunion, a classmate and his wife stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the classmate's wife unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the classmate became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the wife got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, our classmate (the old geezer) yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my wallet and credit card."
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My gosh!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
Myspace Code Generator
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "YES."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things.....your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions....and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full."
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else....the small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."
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